As we approach the end of a busy autumn term, thoughts are turning to Christmas breaks, festive traditions, and family time. While the festive season is often portrayed as the “most wonderful time of the year,” for many adolescents, the reality can be quite different.

The break from school routine, the pressure of social gatherings, navigating complex family dynamics, and the looming thought of mock exams or future grades can create a perfect storm of stress for secondary school students.

This Christmas, the greatest gift we can give our young people is understanding and a supportive environment where their mental health is prioritised alongside the festivities.

Here is a guide to helping your teen navigate the holiday period, balancing festive fun with much-needed rest and emotional support.

Spotting the Signs: When It’s More Than Just “Teenage Grumpiness”

Adolescence is naturally a time of ups and downs. However, during the intense period of Christmas, it is helpful to look out for significant changes in your child’s usual behaviour that might indicate they are struggling.

Look out for changes in:

• Withdrawal: Isolating in their room significantly more than usual and refusing to engage in any family activities.

• Sleep Patterns: Extreme changes, such as not being able to sleep at night or struggling to get out of bed at all during the day (beyond normal teenage lay-ins).

• Mood Swings: Intense irritability, anger, or tearfulness that seems disproportionate to the situation.

• Loss of Interest: A lack of enthusiasm for things they usually enjoy, including presents or hobbies.

• Physical Symptoms: Frequent complaints of headaches, stomach aches, or fatigue with no clear physical cause.

• Eating Habits: Significant changes in appetite—either eating much less or much more than usual.

How You Can Support Them Over the Break

1. Manage Expectations (Yours and Theirs) The pressure to have the “perfect family Christmas” can be suffocating for a teen. Accept that they might not want to participate in every single tradition. Pick a few key moments that matter to the family and let some of the smaller things slide.

2. The Gift of Downtime School is intense. Your teen needs genuine rest. Ensure they have permission to do absolutely nothing without feeling guilty. If they need a few hours alone in their room to recharge from social overload, validate that need rather than forcing them to socialise.

3. Keep Communicating, But Don’t Interrogate Keep the lines of communication open. Often, the best chats happen sideways—in the car, while washing up, or watching TV—rather than face-to-face “we need to talk” moments. Let them know you are there to listen without immediately trying to “fix” their problems.

4. Maintain a “Loose Routine” While throwing the alarm clock away is liberating, total chaos can increase anxiety. Try to maintain basic anchors in the day, like roughly regular meal times and not letting sleep schedules completely invert.

Festive Connection Over Perfection: Low-Pressure Activities

If your teen seems up for it, try activities that focus on connection rather than high-pressure performance.

• The Anti-Christmas Movie Marathon: Let them curate a list of movies to watch together that have absolutely nothing to do with elves or Santa.

• “Competitive” Baking: Teenagers often enjoy a challenge. Have a “Nailed It” style gingerbread house competition—the messier the better.

• Get Outside, Even if Briefly: A change of scenery can work wonders. A walk to see the local Christmas lights in the evening is often more palatable to a teen than a long daytime hike.

• Game Night on Their Terms: If they love video games, ask to play with them (and prepare to lose). If they prefer board games, let them choose the game, even if it takes three hours.

Help is Available in Hertfordshire

If you are concerned that your child is experiencing persistent low mood, anxiety, or distress that isn’t lifting, please remember you don’t have to manage it alone. There are excellent local and national services available during the holidays.

Local Hertfordshire Support:

• Sandbox (Hertfordshire Mind Network): An online hub for children and young people in Herts (aged 10-25) offering advice, guidance, and access to online support involving chat, emails, and video calls with therapists.

  • Website: sandbox.mindler.co.uk

• Just Talk Herts: The go-to website for information about mental health and wellbeing for young people in Hertfordshire, with links to various local resources and self-help tools.

  • Website: www.justtalkherts.org

• Herts Parent Carer Involvement (HPCI): While focused on SEND, they offer excellent general resources and support networks for parents navigating the system in Hertfordshire.

  • Website: www.hertsparentcarers.org.uk

National Support (Available 24/7):

• Kooth: Free, safe, and anonymous online support and counselling for young people.

  • Website: www.kooth.com

• Shout: A free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone who is struggling to cope.

  • Text: SHOUT to 85258

In a Crisis: If you feel your child is in an immediate mental health crisis, you can call the NHS Hertfordshire Partnership Foundation Trust (HPFT) Single Point of Access (SPA) line for urgent referrals and advice.

• Call: 0800 6444 101 (available 24/7)

We wish you and your families a peaceful, restful, and supportive Christmas break.